Miguelina

Fear

What's it like bringing a second baby home?

Nothing like you expect it to be.  It's not as hard as I feared, but not as easy as you'd think - considering the fact that I had just finished raising an infant into a full-blown toddler.  Thankfully, I'ved had tons of help - my husband's company has a generous parental leave policy, my parents are visiting and our friends have been incredible - stopping by with fully cooked meals that tend to include simple instructions and lots of chocolate.

But even with all this help it's still a lot to take in.  I feel like a brand-new mom all over again - lacking in confidence and afraid of leaving the house to perform the most mundane tasks.  Like the inevitable day when I have to take both of the boys to the grocery store all by myself.  Where do you put the oldest child?  In the main basket?  If you do that, where does the food go?  Thinking about this gives me a mild panic attack.   Alright, maybe not a mild panic attack, but I'm not going to admit to just how afraid I am.  It's embarrasing and I'd like to maintain some dignity, thank you very much. 

And do you know why I'm wasting precious time worrying about silly little things like that?  Because soon my husband is leaving on a business trip for an entire week* and it will be the boys and me.  Alone.  Terrifying, isn't it?

*Crazy Internet Stalkers:  Stay away from my house.  My landlady bites.

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I must send out a HUGE thank you to Kristen from Motherhood Uncensored and Cool Mom Picks- she hooked me up with a Nose Frida!  Now I have one less thing to fear - I can throw out that stupid turkey baster thingy from the hospital!

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No Rest for the Weary

Wow. 

Thank you for the nice comments - Benjamin's birthday was a lovely day and I guess it comes through in the pictures.  The epidural helped, as did this. 

Really, you are all too kind.

I find that the first 24 hours after giving birth are pretty easy - reality doesn't hit until the second day at the hospital and the first day you're home with the new baby.  After that the reality of life with a newborn hit me like a truck.  The strangest part is that this time I felt less prepared than I did with the first. 

Could it be that this time I didn't read anything about newborn care?  Could my mind have erased any memory of those first weeks in order to trick me into continuing to propagate the species?  I think so.  How else do you explain the fact that I forgot all about the umbilical cord stump and how much it freaks me out every time I have to change his diaper?  Or the sheer volume of diapers - I had forgotten that newborns poop every time they eat.  And that they like to eat at night.  So you have to get up and feed and change a diaper and they like to keep their legs close to their tummies and their legs are so squirmy yet so strong.

And having a newborn and a toddler can be summed up by this:  the toddler sleeps all night, the baby sleeps all day.  Isn't that awesome?  Everybody gets attention, as long as you don't need to sleep.  And I do.  So goodnight, I'm off to steal a few minutes of rest.

A Week Ago Today

Benjamin Lucas was born at 10:43 AM on April 3.  He weighed 8 lbs 9 oz and he is wonderful.