A Work in Progress

One of the most common complaints among my mom friends is that people are always telling them what to do. 

You're going to spoil that kid...Shouldn't she be wearing socks?...Poor little thing, hasn't mommy fed you?...He should go to bed earlier...

Imagine that!  The stereotype of the nagging mother turned on its head!  We’re not doing the ones doing the nagging…everybody else is!

I’ve thought about this a lot lately.  I’ve been wondering why I’m in a constant pissy mood, and I’ve come to realize that it’s because everybody seems to think they would be better at my job than I am.

And ever since I’ve come to this realization I’ve been freed of some of the brewing pissy-ness.  In fact, the more I think about this the more I start laughing to myself, not unlike a crazy lady.  Because let's face it, whoever thinks that they can do my job better than I can is just plain wrong.  My job description is very specific:  To raise two particular little boys, the likes of which the world has never known, and never will see again.

I’m the only person who’s ever had this job, and while I’m not perfect at it by any stretch of the imagination, I’m the most experienced candidate.  Also, despite the inevitable complaint here and there, I truly love it.

When I had a paying job, no one criticized every single decision I made.  It was assumed that I was qualified.  Now that I’m a mother, it’s the exact opposite.  Most people think that moms are guilty of incompetence until proven innocent. 

Maybe it’s because so many people seem to think that parenting is so easy any idiot can do it.

It’s not true.

There is no way that anyone can raise my two boys better than I can.  I don't care is the person tsk-tsking has raised 10 children or is childless and convinced when they have kids they will never (fill in the blank).  Maybe they mean well, I don't know.  All I know is that I didn't lose my brains the day I became pregnant.

So stop trying to tell me how to do my job.  I'll ask for help when I need it.

The management thanks you for your understanding.

Comments

[flutter]

The management would also like to invite the usurpers of parental authority to stick it.

[themommykelly]

Kudos, Darling! Hey, it sounds like you had to deal with some nagging of late. Welcome to my world!

I agree, though. If everyone found a way to mind their own damn business when it comes to parenting (and everything else for that matter), life would be alot happier for us all.

You make an excellent point. There are no two children in the world like your own and therefore no better mom. I like that very clever observation. It is truly insightful as to both the uniqueness of every child and the most beautiful bond between a mother and the little ones she is raising.

[Janine]

I am a new reader, but I wanted to thank you for this inspiration this morning:

"I’m the only person who’s ever had this job, and while I’m not perfect at it by any stretch of the imagination, I’m the most experienced candidate. Also, despite the inevitable complaint here and there, I truly love it."

I recently lost my paying job and now have chosen to stay at home with my two girls. I know I have made the right choice, but some days are difficult and it seems like everyone wants to give their two cents about our current situation. Thanks for reminding me that I am the best person for this job.

[Pinks & Blues Girls]

I have no kids, so I really feel I have no place telling someone how to raise their children. Now, I may think things I'd like to say to people, but.. I know I'm not perfect, so I just say live and let live! Or, in context, raise and let raise!

Jane, Pinks & Blues

[boogiemum]

You are so right! I needed that reminder today, thank you. Sometimes I find it difficult to have confidence in knowing how to handle my children best.

[Julie Pippert]

Ah yes that's it exactly! Awesome post!

Julie
Using My Words

[Skiplovey]

Wow you summed that up nicely. Luckily for me most people have been pretty cool about not giving unwanted advice, but I'm in California where people generally don't disagree with you (they wait until you leave then gossip about you...)
You're so right though about "two particular boys", only you as the parent knows how best to deal with your kids.

[GHD]

That pretty much sums up my personal sentiments beautifully.

[emery jo]

I LOVE this:

"My job description is very specific: To raise two particular little boys, the likes of which the world has never known, and never will see again."

I just needed to read this today, to be reminded that I don't have to do things the way others are doing them to be considered a good mom.

We are unique as mothers just as our children are unique children. If we agree with the "every child is different" approach, why can't we agree that every mom is different as well?