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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Sebastian Sundays (2)

I'm in the shower when, suddenly, the shower curtain opens--Psycho style.

"Mama?  You dirty?"  Sebi says, looking concerned.

"Um...yes, but not for long."

The curtain closes.  Little feet run away.

"Mama's dirty!" 

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Today is the first day of the rest of my thirties

Today I turn 31--which means that I'm officially in my thirties.

Do you remember the debate about the turn of the Millennium?  Back then, there were two types of people in the world - those who felt that the year 2000 was not the beginning of the second Millennium, that in fact, it was the last year of the first Millennium.  And then there were the rest of us, who thought that those people were a bunch of spoilsports and we knew that the year 2000 was indeed the new millennium and we were going to party like it was 1999, all logical explanations to the contrary be damned!

I still think I was right.  Even though when I turned 30, I shrugged it off because 30 is just the last year of your 20s.  (Hypocrite!)

But now, now I can't put it off any longer.  Thirty-one is officially, unequivocally your 30s.  Even if I feel pretty much the same as I did when I was 14 - except for the mortgage, two kids and a husband part.  Oh, and the fact that I never, ever worry about Geometry these days.

If anyone has any advice on how to make the 30s the Best Decade EVER, I'd love to hear it!

Baby Saturdays 2

And we have...a tooth!

I don't want to jinx things, but your first tooth appeared drama-free.  The only reason I found it is that you almost cut my finger when I was wiping your face last night.

It's time to say goodbye to your sweet gummy smile!  Congratulations!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Few Things Before I Go and Lose My Mind

My husband and I always thought that tackling DIY projects would be the surest way to marital troubles.  After all, neither one of us knows what we're doing so there are WAY too many opportunities to screw things up and get on each other's nerves about things and the way they should be done.

So we bought the house we did precisely because it had been updated and we only needed to do a few things.  Such as:

1.  Paint a bedroom and bathroom which had, inexplicably, been painted purple.  The rest of the house is tastefully done in Navajo White and soothing shades of green, blue and yellow - but these two rooms were a strange zombie-like purple.

2.  Put a chandelier in the dining room.  Not a big deal because we didn't even have to buy one since a chandelier had been installed, inexplicably, in the middle of the kitchen.  (I'm 5'8" and my husband is 6'2".  Needless to say, our skulls couldn't take this anymore.)

(Who needs a chandelier in the middle of their kitchen?  Our house is full of little oddities like this.)

3.  Replace the kitchen chandelier with recessed lighting to match the rest of the kitchen.

4.  Re-caulk a few spots in the two bathrooms.

And that was it.  Simple!  We'll just hire a handyman and be done with it!

So I took it upon myself, as Chief Executive Officer in Charge of All Household Operations and Negotiating Minx, to call every single handyman, painter and electrician in the Boston suburbs.  My plan was to screen a few companies, schedule a few appointments for estimates and then hire a professional based on who could give me the best quality work at the best price. 

Oh, how innocent I was!

(This is the part where experienced homeowners try to suppress a little chuckle, amused at my naive belief that I would be in charge of this process.  Ha!)

I'm convinced that home repair contractors live by a code, and that code is:  ESTIMATES?  HAHAHAHHAHA! 

Either the contractor flat-out refused to give me an estimate (or even better, they wanted me to PAY them $60 just to hear an estimate!) or they did what the handyman I ultimately hired did - they just pulled a number out of thin air and told me the work would be done in 10 hours.

In the end I spent 3 days at my house without internet access or showers, and the cost was 3 times the original estimate (HAHAHAHA!  ESTIMATE!)

I've learned my lesson.  Next time, I'll learn to love the purple.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Work in Progress

One of the most common complaints among my mom friends is that people are always telling them what to do. 

You're going to spoil that kid...Shouldn't she be wearing socks?...Poor little thing, hasn't mommy fed you?...He should go to bed earlier...

Imagine that!  The stereotype of the nagging mother turned on its head!  We’re not doing the ones doing the nagging…everybody else is!

I’ve thought about this a lot lately.  I’ve been wondering why I’m in a constant pissy mood, and I’ve come to realize that it’s because everybody seems to think they would be better at my job than I am.

And ever since I’ve come to this realization I’ve been freed of some of the brewing pissy-ness.  In fact, the more I think about this the more I start laughing to myself, not unlike a crazy lady.  Because let's face it, whoever thinks that they can do my job better than I can is just plain wrong.  My job description is very specific:  To raise two particular little boys, the likes of which the world has never known, and never will see again.

I’m the only person who’s ever had this job, and while I’m not perfect at it by any stretch of the imagination, I’m the most experienced candidate.  Also, despite the inevitable complaint here and there, I truly love it.

When I had a paying job, no one criticized every single decision I made.  It was assumed that I was qualified.  Now that I’m a mother, it’s the exact opposite.  Most people think that moms are guilty of incompetence until proven innocent. 

Maybe it’s because so many people seem to think that parenting is so easy any idiot can do it.

It’s not true.

There is no way that anyone can raise my two boys better than I can.  I don't care is the person tsk-tsking has raised 10 children or is childless and convinced when they have kids they will never (fill in the blank).  Maybe they mean well, I don't know.  All I know is that I didn't lose my brains the day I became pregnant.

So stop trying to tell me how to do my job.  I'll ask for help when I need it.

The management thanks you for your understanding.

The Original Perfect Post Awards – Sept ‘07

Sebastian Sundays (1)

"I sleep so well!"

(What he says every time he wakes up - a sign that we have a lovely few hours ahead.  If he doesn't say it...well, then you'd better get ready for hell on earth.)

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Benjamin Saturdays (1)

Benjamin is 5 months old.  He acts like he wants food.  He's hungry all the time.  We're thinking it might be time for solids.  But he refuses to eat rice cereal.  He bangs his tiny little fists on the highchair and gets super upset when I try to feed him the mushy stuff.

I think he may want to skip the pureed foods and go straight to a cheeseburger.  With Parmesan fries and a Coke.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Preschooligans

I'm over at New England Mamas, writing about the joys of preschool admissions in the Boston suburbs:

So I start calling and visiting the local schools, checking to see if they had any room for my son. Surprise! They're all full! And the waitlist? Full as well! Did you know that you have to apply at least a year in advance in order to get into PRESCHOOL?

Let's take a minute here for a reality check: My applications to graduate school were due in January and by April I was looking for an off-campus apartment. It takes 3 months to get into business school, but it takes 13 months to get into PRESCHOOL.


 

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hey Joe

Sebastian got to meet Joe from Blue’s Clues last week.  He watches the show all the time--so I think I can be forgiven for thinking he might be at least a little excited about this.  Yet when he was face-to-face with the guy that sings “Mail Time!” to him every morning he was all, “eh.  Whatever.” 

I may have a two year-old teenager on my hands.

Poor Joe tried to engage him in conversation, posed for a few photos and even did the Blue Skidoo dance for him. 

Nothing.

I finally had to intervene. 

"Sebi!  Why don't you give Joe a high-five?  He'd love a high-five!" 

Joe held out his hand.  Sebastian gave him a high-five and practically ran out of the room.

As we were driving home, Sebastian summed his meeting like this:

"Joe's a nice man.  Joe needs a haircut."

If he thinks Joe needs a haircut I wonder what he'll have to say when he meets Santa.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Grooming I Learned From The Internet

The other day I was in Sephora buying a giftcard for my son's preschool teacher* when I was inexplicably drawn to the mascara display and just had to buy DiorShow mascara.  I have been reasonably happy with my cheap Maybelline Full 'N Soft mascara so I was surprised by this, but a little voice whispered "buybuybuy" so I did.

I tried it.  I loved it.  Then I thought, "why didn't anybody tell me about this before?"

But someone had!  I remember reading about it a while ago (probably on Jurgen Nation's Beauty List) and my little brain must have held on to that piece of information until that fateful day when I found myself in front of a mascara display with $25 burning a hole in my pocket. 

(I guess life would be easier if I could remember phone numbers and birthdays as easily as beauty recommendations, but I have to live with the talents I have and not the ones I wish I had.)

I must confess that thanks to Metalia's glowing words for Softsoap Pomegranate and Mango Body Wash my morning showers are yummier -- that stuff smells so damn good!  I went ahead and tried Dove Weightless Moisture hair stuff (despite my belief that Dove = soap and nothing more) because Mrs. Chicky said it was good.  (It is--and it's cheap!)  I have a tube of Cover Girl Lipslicks in my bag because Holly reminded me of their existence.  And I've bookmarked this post by Whoorl because someday I might need to use a curling iron and when I do I want to do it right.  A girl needs to be prepared.

So, thanks internet!  I look and smell better thanks to y'all!

I feel like I should share my must-haves so here are three products I've been loving lately:

1.  Chanel Hydramax SPF 15 in Sunlit:  It's a moisturizer/sunblock/foundation in one.  It's easy to use and it makes my skin glowy.

2.  Alba Coconut Milk Facial Wash:  Great cleanser that rinses clean.  The fact that it smells like a Piña Colada makes me happy.

3.  Opi Nail Polish in Chick Flick Cherry:  A true red nail polish that looks classy.  The perfect pedicure color.

If you feel the urge to share your favorites, please do.  It's good karma, you know.

*(In case you were wondering why I would do such a thing, she's leaving and I wanted to give her an awesome gift so that she would love me and offer to babysit - and hell yes, IT WORKED.  Guess who gets a night out for her upcoming birthday?  Guess!)

Don't Steal

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