Miguelina

I answer the Proust Questionnaire

Proust didn't invent this questionnaire - it was a popular parlor game back in his day. Nowadays, only the rich and famous do it. I wanted to do it too.

So I did.

.....

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Depends on my mood: If I’m feeling social, a cocktail party. If I’m not, a stay at a fancy hotel on somebody else’s dime.

What is your greatest fear?

Driving in downtown Boston.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

My incredible ability to procrastinate. I even procrastinate the things I want to do. It doesn’t make sense. I have to work on that.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

I have no patience for bullies of any age.

Which living person do you most admire?

My mom.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Organic food and cashmere.

What is your current state of mind?

Dreamy.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

The ability to multitask. I’d much rather have the ability to truly live in the moment.

On what occasion do you lie?

Rarely. Lying is hard work. But I am very diplomatic.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

My stretch marks. I know they’re supposed to be my battle scars and I should wear them bravely, but if I could erase them, I would.

Which living person do you most despise?

Anyone who knowingly hurts the vulnerable - unfortunately that’s a lot of people.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Kindness.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

The same - kindness.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“On the other hand...“

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My husband.

When and where were you happiest?

The first euphoric hours after giving birth to my kids. I try to recall that feeling whenever I need to remember how happiness feels.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I wish I was a ballet dancer. They do incredibly difficult things in the name of beauty, and make it look so easy.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

There are many things I wish I could change. I’m always working on something.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My education. I’m not afraid to try anything, because I know I can learn how.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

Myself, but wiser.

Where would you most like to live?

Rome.

What is your most treasured possession?

My laptop. It holds everything. I should back it up.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Jealousy.

What is your favorite occupation?

Writing about frivolous things.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I’m terrible at returning emails and phone calls.

What do you most value in your friends?

Patience.

Who are your favorite writers?

Julia Alvarez, Sandra Cisneros, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Jhumpa Lahiri, and Jeffrey Eugenides.

Who is your hero of fiction?

J. Alfred Prufrock.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I’d like to identify with Coco Chanel. I love her fierce independence.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Parents.

What are your favorite names?

Easy: Lucas, Sebastian and Benjamin.

What is it that you most dislike?

Folding and putting away laundry. Ironing. Grocery shopping. But I like pretty clothes and I like cooking and eating, so they must be done.

What is your greatest regret?

I once had two job offers and I took the boring job instead of the one I really wanted because I thought it would be ”good for me.“ That was stupid and I will never make that mistake again.

How would you like to die?

At peace with my life.

What is your motto?

”In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” (Thank you, Coco Chanel!)

Because Sometimes I am the Queen of the Obvious

I finally understand the internet's obsession with Target. (What can I say? I'm slow sometimes.)

The trick to enjoying Target is to go early on a weekday and (this is key) LEAVE THE HUSBAND AND KIDS AT HOME.

Duh. But a vast improvement over visiting on a Sunday with three whining males and a thirty-minute time limit. Ahem.

But if you get there on your own, it's just about the most magical place on earth. I spent a good part of an hour just looking at their purses - my God, their purse department is huge - and some of the bags look almost as nice as the "real" thing. (I'm totally looking at you, Anya Hindmarch tote!) I almost bought one, but I ended up not buying one. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe I should get a medal?

Man, this recession sucks.

The art of not getting anything done

I love making lists. Packing lists, shopping lists, to-do lists...I am a list-making queen. I'm also a world-class procrastinator, and don't think for a second that the two aren't related. Add in my innate laziness and a fancy new toy, and what you have is a recipe for disaster.

(Well, not really, because disaster implies that I managed to do something to screw things up. I guess what you really have is a recipe for...nothing.)

Case in point - my new phone. It's awesome. Great, even. But I soon learned that it doesn't display my to-do list from my iCal and I went into panic mode. How was I supposed to walk around without my to-do list? The one that I spend hours creating and revising and just looking at? It would not do! So I spent hours at the App store looking for a solution.

Did you know there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of to-do lists available for your phone? And that they all do the same thing - you know, list the things you need to do? You'd think it would be an easy thing to do, choose one and move on. But, oh no, I had to spend time signing up for free accounts and testing and reading reviews and comments, and next thing I knew I had spent 3 hours looking for a to-do list application.

It doesn't make any sense. I could have done the same thing with a Post-It note.

(Better put that on the list.)

**********

On another note - are you cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year? Then you need to read this, because today is a VERY important day.

Also, go here to read my Q&A with one of my favorite people at Butterball. She's funny. You'll love her too!

To dream...

I just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love. I know I'm a couple of years late to this party, but it's a good read - even for someone like me, who is turned off by spacey new age types (probably because if I'm afraid that if I'm not careful I could end up one). In any case, I think that the reason the book has inspired so many is that she doesn't tell you that there is a specific path you need to follow to find happiness in life - there's no need to go meditate in India or live a smelly bohemian life if you don't want to - but you do have to work at being happy. It's not going to just happen if you're not aware of your desire and live with the intent to be happy.

Agreed.

In the book she found a path to happiness through focusing on mantras - I'm not the mediative type so you'll have to go elsewhere or read the book for an explanation on what mantras are  or what to do with them - but I would be lying if her writing didn't inspire me to try it out.

Now, I have two small children on different nap schedules, so I get absolutely no quiet time. The only quiet time I get is in yoga class, conveniently enough. So lately instead of being annoyed when we have "meditation" time in yoga I work really hard at clearing my mind to push away all thoughts and see what happens.

Guess what? I found a mantra too!

My mantra is "z". As in "zzzzz."

I need more sleep. My goal for the next few days is to get more sleep.

Stop laughing. It's harder than it sounds and you know it.

Decluttering

The NYT had a recent article on decluttering which, of course, isn't surprising at this time of the year. The comments left on the author's blog, however, break my heart. I've thankfully never had a hoarding problem but it has only been a couple of years since I've learned to free myself from the tyranny of stuff. And it feels very, very good.

I may not be a neat freak that finds nirvana in vacuuming, but I'm excellent at getting rid of things I don't need anymore. I also happened to marry a man who hates throwing anything out, who enjoys very much finding new uses for old things, and what this means is that I have to think VERY carefully about buying new things because if I'm not careful I'll have to stare at that impulse purchase for the next twenty years. That has cured me of any desire to buy things "just because." I also hate dust, and the more things you have, the more things you have to dust. Every time I'm wiping something I ask myself "is this thing worth it?" A lot of the time it just isn't.

This morning I filled a large kitchen bag with pure junk - junk that was hiding in closets, boxes and drawers as well as right on my kitchen counter. Getting rid of it made the house feel lighter, the air felt cleaner.

Is it beautiful? Does it make you happy? Does it make your life easier? Do you really truly need it?

If the answer is no - get rid of it.

I love New Year's Day

I love how January 1st is filled with sheer possibility - I know that in reality every day, every minute even, is filled with the same amount of possibility as today is - but I like the fact that we all start with new calendars on the same day. So sue me.  I fall for the New Year's hoopla every year.

Today has been a day of decluttering and thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2008. It helps that there is nothing better to do, what with everything being closed for the day and snow threatening (yet again). I always make New Year's resolutions, and I've learned that it is best to make them specific - vague just doesn't motivate me much.

I don't feel like posting my resolutions here - mostly because I'm still working on them, but I hope that you are also inspired to set some goals for yourself. It's important to have something to look forward to - which reminds me, my resolutions are always things I want to do and will enjoy- there's no point in planning to punish yourself. But I've found that unless I make a plan to do something - even if it's something pleasurable - it somehow gets lost in the everyday, so I'm spending today thinking about what would make 2008 great* and I'm going to figure out how to do it.

Then my son and I will make some cookies.

Wishing you a wonderful year!

*am I the only one that's tired of hearing "great 08"? Sorry! I couldn't help myself.

Let's get back to talking about me...

So the job is going well, and I'm thrilled to be making some pocket money with a steady writing job. That's not surprising, of course, what I didn't expect is exactly how much I would enjoy writing about weddings. There's tons of materials about weddings, and they can even be hilarious, as long as you're not planning one yourself.

But now that I have a nice groove going on at Aisledash, it's time to get back to some old-fashioned self-centered blogging.

• It must be the cabin fever, but I've lately become obsessed with my hair. I want to go from this to this:

(Somebody stop me before it's too late!)

• The three of us are sick again (how my husband manages to escape evil winter viruses is beyond me) and we are YET again packing to go on another trip. We're spending Christmas at my parent's house in Miami, and it's not a moment too soon, because it's currently 26 degrees out and our driveway is a lovely pool of black ice. I have no desire to leave my house, none at all, and Sebastian is in full agreement. The 8 month-old is the one suffering from cabin fever, and the poor thing doesn't understand just how miserable it is out there.

• I actually have this recurrent nightmare that we're going to come back from our trip only to find that our house is completely snowed in. That we're going to get to our house and all the doors are blocked by piles of that icy snow we have now. What do you do then? Do you suppose cad drivers carry ice picks in their trunks?

Sick, sicker and sickest

There is nothing more boring that reading about stomach viruses and nasty colds, so I'll spare you.  Just imagine me and my two children passing the viruses back and forth like hot potatoes.  Then imagine the baby's fourth and fifth teeth breaking through simultaneously.  Oh, and don't forget my garage door breaking, trapping us in the garage for a bit.  And then when we finally make our escape (to a fun trip to the pediatrician's on a Saturday morning) discovering that both my front tires are dangerously low on air.  Cue me having to beg for someone (anyone!) to help me figure out what to do.  Thank goodness for kind strangers (who still took the last $10 I had in my purse because I felt I had to tip and thought it would be tacky to ask for five bucks back.) 

(It would've been tacky, right?)

Then imagine my husband being far, far away (in Europe), missing all the fun.

This has been going on since Wednesday.  I've lost 3 pounds already.  Bah.

I do have really exciting news that I can't wait to share.  It's great, trust me.  But both kids are asleep, and I'm going to join them.

See you next week.  Be good and wash your hands after you're done reading.  I wouldn't want you to catch this too.

I do more than just complain...

Things I am Grateful for:

• My husband - my partner-in-crime, the one person who knows how I like things, the person from whom I can't hide my true feelings and who makes me laugh everyday - all while looking like James Bond his tuxedo. Rawr.
• Sebastian - my "big-boy" pint-sized ball of energy and wit.
• Benjamin - the baby who will soon take over the world.  He is charisma personified.
• My family - you're all awesome and you know it.
• My friends - for everything.
• That dark chocolate and red wine are actually good for you.  Thank you Jebus!
• How Clean is Your House - for making me feel like a domestic goddess while I watch daytime television instead of dusting or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing.
• All-Wheel-Drive
• That my cousin the Marine survived a bomb attack and got back from Iraq in one piece.
• Totally related to the above bullet point - that election day is less than a year away and people are (finally!) waking up to Bush's fundamentalist hypocrisy.  Amen!
• Luxe environmentalism.  God, I hate patchouli.
• Jeans that hide a multitude of sins
• That I actually enjoy yoga and pilates.  Because I also love brownies.
• Boxer dogs
• Size 7 diapers.
• Courtesy pre-boarding for families traveling with children.
• Pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, pumpkin ravioli.  You get the picture.
• Figs
• Fall foliage
• That ballerina flats are trendy now, so I can add to my collection with abandon

And you!  Thank you for reading and for your comments and emails.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

If not today, when?

I've really been enjoying the NoBloShoeMo Flickr pool started by Susan Wagner.  I love shoes of course, but I think the reasons for my enjoyment run a little deeper.  In getting a peek at people's shoes you get to know the real person hiding behind the expected - buttoned-up lawyers jazzing up black pantsuits with leopard print shoes, SAHM wearing satin heels, rock chicks in dainty ballerina flats...I just love it.

It has also reminded me of all the nice things I already have but keep hidden  for "another day."  Do you do that too?  Do you save your nice things for a "special" day?   

Let me ask you something -- does that mythical "special day" ever come?

I've been doing that since I was little, saving my nice things for later, and what ends up happening is that I live my life in mediocre shoes and the pretty ones never get worn.  I even forget I have them, so when a special occasion does come up, I end up running to the store (I hate shopping!) at the last minute (hate!) and buying something out of desperation.

It's hard to break this habit.  As I've become more aware of what I'm doing, I've noticed that this nasty habit has spread from shoes and clothing to other parts of my life.  For example, I buy pretty notebooks compulsively - they sit on my bedside table and what do I carry in my bag?  Nothing!  I end up writing notes on old ATM receipts is what I do. 

So I've decided to stop saving my nice things for later.  Later never comes.  I'm enjoying the pretty things now.

This morning, rather than drinking coffee out of my trusty old frog mug I drank it out of my fancy wedding china.  Because I already have it.  Pouring coffee and milk into it didn't take any extra effort.  And the result?  Much prettier.  I started the day in a better mood.  It made today special.

Try it.  You know you have pretty things hidden at home.  Take them out and use them. 

Today is worth it, I promise.